Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
