just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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