Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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