Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have fence marks all over my body
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize