i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
