theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
