She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
