Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.

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(925): View more from California

I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour

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(360): View more from Washington

Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"

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(424): View more from California

I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.

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(772): View more from Florida

He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.

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(607): View more from New York

Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Or is it distressingly heterosexual?

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