His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
