I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
