I didn't shave. On purpose
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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