one might say we're banned from that church
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize