I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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