Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
