I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
