Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize