Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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