i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Also, beer. Big fan.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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