well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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