I want to make a zoo with you.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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