Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize