so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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