Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
