i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
