His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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