She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
