dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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