No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She's the barista slut.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
