Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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