Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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