I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
