Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
