i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just want to make out with him forever
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
