i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Someone came in the potted fern
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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