I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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