Don't you send me to vm
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
