Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
