There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize