well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
