Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
