So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
