East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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