She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
