as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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