Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
