at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
