Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
