no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
