smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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