you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My butt remains clenched, sir.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
