her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
