The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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