Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I could fuck to npr.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
