he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
