Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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