walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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