Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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