I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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