you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
There are leaves in my underwear?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
