Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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