Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
