Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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