He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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