I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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