I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
