White coat. Heels.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
